Good morning everyone! (I guess I am only talking to myself) 

Woke up real early on a beautiful and quiet Monday monday but I decided I shall not go to school...

I really miss blogging in Xanga, because I can shout out my rantings here with no reserve. You find my true thoughts and voice here. I ate a lot this morning, 2 dou sa bao and a bowl of maggie mee, and I am planning to go eat Astons later I don't quite care. I feel down today. 2010 was a year of many challenges, I encountered so many moments when I just feel like giving up.. In my studies and everything.. But I endured year 2010 and sem 1.. You know sometimes I just have this ridiculous thought to not study.. I just feel like I'm so lazy and unmotivated and I just don't feel like studying anymore.. Sometimes it is just so trying, so tiring to keep pulling through.. Perhaps I am too addicted in staying home.. Just how many years in my teenage life that I have stayed at home. I was home in almost half of my secondary and primary school life, or you can even count it all the way back to kindergarden.. I am just not a 'school-person'. Somehow all my depressing thoughts and my friends who couldn't make it to further studies in poly kept reminding me that I must never take the opportunity of being able to study for-granted. I just simply dislike the typical singaporean mindset which thinks that you are a loser if you don't study. What is this. I tell you some people can study and can study very well but just that they decided not to. Not everyone who don't study is a school dropout and a failure. I am against all the cold stares teachers and society gives. This is such a misconception. So you mean people who doesn't have a cert deserves to be cut off from society? What about those have the potential to succeed? What about those youth who has a great destiny? So all these people deserves to live with a stigma from these rejections for all their lives? Okay I am a little bias here.. 

I read this on Twitter: 'Pressure puts people in a position to perform'

I still very much want to succeed. But I am so tired of all the pressures. Yes all the pressures I give to myself because of my own laziness and unmotivation. Can't we just escape from the judgement society would pass to us if we chose to do what we want? After all it still voices down to our attitude and thinking about it I guess. I wish I am like those who can do so well in their business and do business all my life and make a lot of money so I won't have to study and get a cert and work for other people next time.. I am so negative and pessimistic now.. Why am I saying all these and doing all these to destroy my own future when I know I can study and I can do well? When I am so blessed I got into a poly and a course which I like. Just wish everything would have a fresh start and I don't want to bother about all the group projects and group miscommunications and all the pressures I get because I don't go to school. This is just so stupid stupid stupid. 

And nothing much changes even after I blog. Awww my english sucks now.